A Treatise for Women’s History Month

March is Women’s History month, so I thought that it would be appropriate to reflect on some women’s issues that have been irking me for the past couple of years. Women have come so far in history, or “herstory”, yet we still continue to allow society to dictate what deems as expected from us women. For example, I thought that childbirth was a natural, “let your hair down,” be yourself kind of process. I was shocked and made to feel insecure, of what childbirth really entails.

If you go to many of the popular pregnancy, parenting and baby websites, you will find yourself immersed in a plethora of information for new mothers. Amongst the volumes of advice and lists, you will come across numerous links of what to do before labor and delivery, as well as what to pack in your hospital bag. The “to do’s” I found most amusing were, “ making sure you have pedicured toes before delivery, most certainly you have to have that Brazilian before you go into labor, putting your hair up in a stylish ponytail on the way to the hospital and making sure to pack lip gloss and cute pj’s into your hospital bag.”

Now, this might shock you, but the only pedicure I have ever gotten, was for my wedding. That does not mean that I don’t like having painted toes, it’s that I just apply my own polish. I save my money, and I save someone from touching my stinky feet. It’s a win, win situation for all. So, naturally when I had read that one must get a pedicure before delivery, I chuckled. The last place anyone is looked at is your feet. Which brings me to the next item on the “to do” list; the Brazilian.

So, not only do you have to feel insecure if you have a little pubic hair, but you also must look like a twelve year old girl? Um, first off, your doctor has seen it all, literally. He or she does not care. Our newborn cannot see more than a foot away from its face, so surely they do not care. In addition, this goes back to when women were considered “dirty” or “unclean.” Have we not gotten past those subservient times? Lastly, it is not healthy for our society to think that the “twelve-year-old girl look” is appropriate. What messages are we trying to convey? We must not sexualize our children, and convey a message to our daughters that their bodies are not suitable the way they are naturally.

Since we are on the topic of hair, no woman in labor on the way to the hospital, could possibly manage making a stylish updo. I cannot even manage pulling one off in the car on a day when I am not in labor…stuck in traffic…with every styling tool at hand. I can understand wanting your hair out of your face, but needing a stylish hairdo? What kind of pictures are going to be taken? If we’re going this route, I am insecurely in need of highlights too.

Finally, we come to the needed items in our hospital bag- lip gloss and cute pj’s. I guess the lip gloss is for all of those fake, and unnatural photos that will be taken. Why can’t women have the beautiful moment, captivated the way it took place? Show off all of those beads of sweat, strands of matted hair, and unshiny, dry lips. You just had a baby for goodness sakes! Let your hard work come through in those gorgeous pictures, and make a true, natural memory.

As for the cute pj’s, I don’t know why they had to include the word “cute.” I understand bringing your own comfortable clothes from home, but to include the word “cute,” it just irks me. This may come as a shock, and may even cause some men to faint upon reading this, but you bleed a lot after having a baby. Five to seven weeks worth of bleeding. So no matter what pj’s  I am going to have on, I am not going to feel cute during that time period. So, I guess if one wants to ruin the cutest pajamas that they own, then by all means, go for it. I would rather feel comfortable and in my element, then have to worry about how I look. Besides, don’t all women look “cute” not matter what they wear, when holding their brand new baby that they brought into the world?

So, why has childbirth gone from a natural, beautiful thing, into a fashion show? Who are women trying to impress? Is it our gynecologist, our partner, Facebook friends or other women that we have a dire need to compete with? Women need to love themselves for who they are, in the raw, and all natural. These websites show how society still views women as the sex that needs to look a certain way, even during childbirth. Women should not feel the need to change the way they are and look, to fit a different persona. If you have just brought a new child into the world, don’t you want to show him or her who you really are? You want to exemplify from the start to be yourself- be the role model your child needs in this world. Show this new baby to love thyself. And as for the list of “to do’s” that perhaps you do feel like indulging in, like that waxing, pedicure and lip gloss application, save them for your partner seven weeks postpartum.