Happy Birthday, Mom. This One's For You

Summers for me growing up meant swimming, swimming and swimming some more. These are my fondest childhood memories. We owned a four- foot- deep pool that was semi-inground with a splinter- prone wrap-around deck. You would have to climb five stairs and reach a gate before accessing the pool and deck. I do not think until we were in high school, were we allowed to go in the pool alone. Surprisingly, we were fine with that. My mom, a teacher, worked mornings during the summer, and then would watch Days of Our Lives before venturing outside. I remember us all lining up at the top of the steps around 1:30pm, basking in the hot summer sun. Do not ask why we would race to the top stair, and line up for over a half an hour.  We would not get into the pool any sooner, and it did not make a difference if you were first on the steps, or third. We all entered the pool within the same five seconds anyhow. 

But what I distinctly remember the most, was my mom coming out of the house, each and every of those summer days, wearing her full skirted swimsuit. I used to laugh and ask, “Mom, why do you wear that ugly bathingsuit? It almost reaches your knees! Why can’t you just wear a regular bathingsuit like us?” My naïve, child self did not get it. Twenty-five years later, I get it. I totally get it. After pregnancy and motherhood, things change. I discussed this with one of my best friends, who had her daughter around the same time I gave birth to my first son. We came to the conclusion that you might return to your pre-pregnancy size, but nothing fits quite the same anymore. You now have to tuck body parts into the right place, or prop up others parts from drooping down to your belly button. As I flip through my Victoria’s Secret swimsuit magazine, I realize I can no longer wear 90% of these swimsuits. Actually, make that 95% of the swimsuits. Okay, I’m lying… I hone in right to the ones with the swimskirts. Well, there’s only one in the entire catalog, so shopping is made easy. The one shown in the catalog is ideal. It is a tankini with a swim skirt. Perfect for my c-sectioned stomach and thighs I no longer want to show the world. As much as I embrace my new figure, I also do not have the need to reveal my entire self. I think of it as, my little secret; (better, and more realistic than Victoria’s Secret) that only myself and a special someone need to get a glimpse of.  

I think back to my seven year old self, telling my mother to ditch the skirt, and embrace her body. Maybe I was not so naïve after all. Perhaps I wanted my mom to love her body just like every woman should embrace how she ages gracefully. Every woman should embrace her body, and love her unique self. We must show our daughters and sons to embrace their curves and imperfections, because that’s what makes you, “you.” I admire my mother for exemplifying how to embrace her body, even if she is not completely comfortable with revealing too much skin. She is a wonderful role model for her three daughters, by never resorting to unnaturally changing herself or making herself someone she is not. I have carried this with me, and think, “Why change ME?”

 I continuously read journal articles stating how elective surgery is not longer for women of “wealth.” Women of every income are increasingly resorting to plastic surgery and other elective surgeries, as if it is like getting one’s teeth cleaned. It saddens me to think how many gorgeous and special women out there are changing themselves, when they are beautiful; every single one of them. I understand bettering one’s self for truly themselves and for health related reasons. Despite women stating that they make changes to themselves for solely themselves, I cannot believe that outside influences don’t play a role in the decisions that women make. I was once asked, “After having kids, how do you still embrace your body, and not resort a quick tuck here and lipo there?” I smiled, and pointed to my two little boys. I would not have two amazing little men if I put my outer beauty first. I possess more love for my children than love for my figure. I know that it is my duty as a mother, to show my sons to respect a woman, and adore a woman for who she is, and all that she entails. What message would I be sending them if I went through some major or even minor changes, to look as if I did not just give birth to two kids? It is not easy to embrace your imperfections, but I guess my way of looking past all of it, is with humor. I love making my youngest sister laugh when I strip down and say, “Get ready for my cottage cheese and pineapple!” Don’t ask where I get the pineapple from, but I enjoy our uncontrollable belly laughs and her exclamations that I’m wild and crazy. 

So although my mother wore and continues to wear her swimskirt, she still exemplifies what self love is all about. So, Happy Birthday, Mommy. May you continue to age beautifully and gracefully for many, many years to come.