L'Chaim, Loves



L’Chaim, Loves

My mom reminded me that the year 2018 is the year of Chai, which in Judaism, holds significance for good luck, high hopes, and “to life”!  L’Chaim in Hebrew means “to life”, and a multiple of 18 symbolizes the value of life. I am optimistic that my mother’s glimmering observation indeed will bring a good omen for this year. 

A new year brings about new beginnings, and these new beginnings unveil the chapters that we are about unfold and read. This winter I register my middle child for Kindergarten, and in addition, sign my youngest child up for nursery school. I look back, and it is amazing to recall how the days would sometimes drag on, and minutes would feel like hours. Yet, somehow the years whizzed by, whereas they felt like mere minutes themselves. 

I long to hold my soft, squishy, baby-powder-scented newborns again, but breathe in the refreshing independence that has come about with raising toddlers and school-aged children. Now what? I feel as if the extra couple of gained independent hours in my day will feel foreign to me; yet chock-full of “me” activities that I have yearned to take part in for years. While being a mother is who I am, other things define me as well, and I aspire to mold back the puzzle pieces that have temporarily gone astray. 

More often than not, my husband and I catch up with old friends or acquaintances that ask me “do I JUST stay at home?” I usually feel my stomach knot with frustration…”JUST stay at home?” One would think I am just eating bon-bons all day, when in reality, I had not sat down at all that day, except to go to the bathroom, and even that was interrupted…twice. I try muttering that I am still writing and working on manuscripts, but I have not had anything published since last year. Well, I did have something published, but I did not receive author credit for my work. Perhaps, that is even worse. Eeek. I feel my cheeks turn red, and look out into the distance, in hopes of bumping into a friend with positive energy, during this painful meeting-up. As I “whomp whomp” myself into oblivion, I think to myself how I would not have changed a second in my day or done things any differently. My family is my everything, and I am truly going to miss those long days with them; especially the ones that leave you exhausted, but so full of love at the end of the day.
In a few short months, I will be able to write freely once again, and work on some over-due public-speaking presentations. I allow that day-dreamy smile to remain on my face, and relish in the bittersweet taste of it all. After patting myself on the back for at least completing this blog entry (I decided sleep is over-rated), I glance at my three sleeping children, and know in my warm heart, that I have done something right. 

While my non-child-rearing accomplishments have been put on hold for the time being, and I can count my published works on one hand, I know that we are raising respectful and loving human beings, and simultaneously enjoying it in all its glory. 

This morning, while my younger two children dusted the floor with a confetti of play-doh, I re-evaluated the non-for-profit organization I was asked to start on Long Island, even before my three babies were a glimmer of a notion. However, I may not have time to commence such a big project within this particular duration of time in my life. But, that is what is great about time, it constantly ticks.  It is up to you to be ready for what life throws. Now, that’s L’Chaim for you!

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