"How I Wasted My Education"

“How I Wasted My Education”

The question of the week always is, “When are you going back to work?” Which is then followed by, “Don’t you feel like you’ve wasted your education?” I usually chuckle, and think to myself, “Since when is educating yourself a waste?!” I try not to let peoples’ questions irk me, as with all of the kind of questions and comments I receive daily. But I cannot help think that when people ask you when you are going back to work, they are insinuating that this is what moms automatically do after maternity leave, and if you do choose to stay home, you are viewed as “old fashioned” or taking a step backward in the world of the working mom. 

When I thought about what I had wanted to be when I grew up, I never thought that I was limited to becoming one thing. I thought number one, mother, number two, an author, and number three, something where I would help others in society. And the possibilities were endless from there. Why can’t I be a stay at home mother for now, go out into the world and continue my career, and write to my heart content throughout it all? I sadly had turned down a couple of job opportunities over the past couple of years, and then I would question my decision. In my heart, I have always felt that something better will always come about when the time was right. Am I wishful thinker, or an optimist who just wants to live in the present? 

I continually have this conversation with a stay at home mom friend of mine. She is a lawyer who also decided to stay at home for the time being to raise her daughter. We would both hem and haw about returning to work right away, or waiting until our kids are in pre-k, heck, maybe even until they commence elementary school. After much pondering, we would always agree upon one thing. Our little ones are not going to be little forever. Since I am fortunate enough to have the ability to stay at home with my boys, I want to experience all of their milestones with them, and treasure each day that I have with them. I feel that the infant and toddler years are so special, whereas everything we see through their eyes is an absolute wonder. I wanted to be able to feed them each of their scrumptious meals, read books all afternoon until we grew sleepy, and dream in one anothers arms about what adventures we would face when we awoke. Since I have the luxury of staying home with them, I want to take in each day, because I will not get them back. I want to experience the numerous tantrums each morning, wiping tush after tush, going to afternoon groups while watching the pure joy on their little faces, and finally feeling exhausted at the end of each and every day. I just want to possess no regrets a decade from now.  After moms of older children swoon over my little ones, they never fail to mention how fast it all goes by, and how they regret not taking in and absorbing those special moments when they are really little. 

I saw firsthand the backlash my mother had received when she decided to stay home with my sisters and I. People would watch us three girls pulling at each other’s hair, and they would ask, “You stayed home for this?” Yes she did. I myself would ask “Why?” She would reply, “Because I will never get this time back with you. I can always return to work, but I can never return to being a new mother.” She was absolutely right. She did return to work after several years, and now is one of the longest working teachers in her school district.

Some women can do it all simultaneously, but I cannot. And I choose not to. I chose to want to spend every day with my babies, before they are no longer babies. It is most certainly an arduous time, but it is also a time where the most growing and thriving takes place in a person’s life. I look at all of the strong mothers I know that go to work each morning, and many of them tell me how they wish they could experience these precious moments with their little ones, and not let them slip by. I commend these ladies, and wish the childcare in our country enabled parents to spend more time with their babies, without having to feel that they must chose their career or their child. However, I hope they do realize what wonderful role models they are by showing their children their strong work ethic. I look up to my mother in such a strong fashion for returning to her career, and I hope my children do the same when I go back to work in the future. For now, I want to cherish the valuable time I have with my babies, and know that I have fully appreciated being a mother, with no regrets. I am thankful that I had accomplished my master’s degree and passed my licensing examination. My education was surely no waste, because what I have learned, will be embedded within me for life; way past my mommy years.